Shelly and I have been planning this for months now! We decided to do a few cute looks for Shellymartinez.org... which is opening THIS holiday season! ;) Tuesday, Dec 7 finally rolls around for Shelly's website photo shoot! It was all the more looked forward to because of the GREAT people we'd be working with! Since it was an evening shoot we ran errands during the day. Vibes flying high, I even through in "hey, no hurry. I'm not going anywhere." (Should have held onto that more laid back spirit longer!) We had only a few things to get but dying my hair kinda set me back. IT WAS AT THIS POINT where I began applying this lame pressure onto myself. Honestly, I just needed to chill out and eat an apple or something. Ended up having a car sickness+ stomach demanding dinner +unnecessary pressure= panic attack! I even pulled out an emergency vomit bag, just in case! SICK! After letting the icy air freeze my face and deeply meditating, we are at the location! I felt so much better once we got there! They had pizza and I said, "I dont care"... the pizza made its home in my tummy! Shooting with Shelly was energizing and fun! But, when it came to my solo that's when that lame pressure (which has now been personally collecting) came out to play with my head! I started slipping back into that panic attack. Felt very unlike me and restrictive. PS this is all caught on the Fun Time behind the scenes camera (viewable soon via Shellymartinez.org!!) ;)
Yes, you will see (again this word describes it well) the lameness in works! Luckily, I snapped out of it. The photographer was understanding and gave me good tips! I saw many of the raw shots and they looked REALLY COOL! Can't wait to share the final product!
This shoot showed me what I need to work on both professionally and personally. Allowing things to set in while taking time to gather self/ mentally prepare instead of becoming overwhelmed. Also, not being shameful to simply embrace being a woman. Not feeling like I have to hold back because of some social standards that dont interfere with my moral standards. Most importantly, being yourself. Letting go and allowing confidence to build; not insecurity or conceit.
Thanks for reading my thoughts! If you'd like to see these photos and behind the scenes... soon, soon, my friends!
