It truly is the time of the season for my love to run HIGH. Not only will all the undercover projects be finally unleashed, but the season calls for me to get "back in tune"! I have not sung professionally (or trained) for almost 3 years now! THIS IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE in my book! Although, I've been using this time to really explore myself. As previously mentioned, I continue to struggle with having the confidence to go there musically. My soul cannot handle holding back any longer! I'm anticipating your response on the things to come because I feel that you will be PLEASANTLY surprised! ;)
There was also seasons of people trying to mold me into a more homely, downplayed, version of me! Encouraging me to settle and compromise my value! Some made me feel extremely guilty for being stylish... SICK!! I had this idea that people have a hard time accepting me so I chose between "geeky" or "stylish". This was also a time where Medical Marijuana hadn't been implemented in my daily health regime. I felt sad for the trapped person I see in those old pictures of myself. I remember those day of taking walks alone for hours. Spent lots of time crying alone. It took much effort to overcome those insecurities so I can freely perform my art. When I did it was like nobody recognized much value in me. When I got involved with socializing in College, I met those "Artistic misfits". It hurt when they'd use other girls (that happened to be my friends) to attack me both artistically & romantically. I am done holding back because I'm afraid of stirring things up within someone... hello that's art! Tired of haters that are hating because they CAN NOT HANG! Get real! ;) Below is old pics (get ready to trip out!) I look so heavy and old!! Will contrast it with a picture from TODAY!!
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